Weeks 5-6

• Whatever I thought it would be, it's not. The things I thought would be easy (let him cry himself to sleep) are immensely difficult, if not impossible. The things I thought I couldn't do (leave him with a babysitter) I find surprisingly easy.
• Seriously. Throw out the book. All it does is increase stress over all those 'simple' goals that remain ever so elusive.
• Every smile completely erases every crying, fussing moment. I've read that there is no rational reason for humans to have children. Logically, that's true - it messes up your perfect lifestyle, it makes you sick, tired, and poor, and forget about seeing all those awesome movies the day they come out. But when that little smile briefly crosses that little face, I don't care about logic and reason. I can't wait for the hugs and kisses.
• When the baby sleeps in his own room, my sporadic hours of sleep are so much better. I thought I wouldn't move his bed for months yet - but one month in my room was quite enough.
• Being sick while breast feeding sucks. But when both of us are sick (and no one can take medicine) that's even worse.
• After nearly a year alcohol-free, I can barely take my liquor. Guess it'll be a while before I can casually sip a margarita and drive home.
• All my fears about the pacifier have come to naught. After a week of successfully lulling the boy to sleep, he has discovered it is not, in fact, a nipple, and no longer wants to use it. Guess he better figure out how to stick out his thumb.

Motherhood, Week 4

Reposted from What He Said Last Night

• Maternity pants don't have zippers. Real pants do. Remember that.
• I don't have the magic. Daddy, friends, grandma, the car, the pacifier - they have the magic. I just have milk. When do I get the magic?
• Yeah, throw away the book. Sometimes, I need sleep. Pacifier it is.

Motherhood, Week 3

Reposted from What He Said Last Night

• Week 2 was rough. Week 3 was better.
• A sweet family moment is only complete when accompanied by a nice, juicy fart.
• Nothing makes diaper changes exciting like the fabled trifecta: a fountain of poo (orange), stream of pee, and a nice dribble of spit-up.
• Car rides really are magic.
• I'm really starting to like this guy; now he is more than just a hungry poop factory.
• Holy crap. I have a son.

Motherhood, Week 1

Reposted from What He Said Last Night

• Despite my limited options, I still don't know what that stain is on my shirt.
• Nothing has taught me how selfish I really am like having a baby. And nothing (not even pride) is more difficult to purge than that selfishness.
• I am no longer afraid of the word 'penis.' I say it all the time: 'Look at your little penis!' If I was so inclined - that is, if I suddenly regressed to being 14-years-old - I could beat anyone at the penis game. I'll do it now. PENIS!
• Baby powder, baby lotion, baby shampoo - they all smell fantastic now.